Emotional Dumping: Understanding it and how to handle it

The difference between venting and emotional dumping

Venting is when someone shares their emotions with the goal of seeking validation or finding a solution to their problem.

Emotional dumping is when someone shares their emotions, thoughts, and feelings without considering the emotional wellbeing of the person they are confiding in. It is also often very one-sided, and without any clear intention or direction. This type of behaviour can be draining, exhausting, and even harmful to relationships.

Setting boundaries on emotional dumping with your friends and family

If you find yourself on the receiving end of emotional dumping, it's important to set boundaries to take care of your emotional wellbeing.

1. Communicate
   Let the person know if you're not emotionally available to listen at the moment, but you're willing to listen another time
2. Suggest professional help
   Encourage the person to seek professional help if they are struggling with emotional issues. You are not expected to respond as their trained, personal therapist.
3. Avoid giving unsolicited advice
   Sometimes, people just want to vent and don't need advice. So, it's essential to understand the person's intention before offering advice. Sometimes they just need to be heard and validated, while other times they may appreciate a problem-solving brainstorm.

How to avoid emotionally dumping on your friends and family

If you find yourself emotional dumping on others, there are other coping strategies you can try when feeling stressed or anxious.

1. Practice mindfulness
   Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga can help you become more self-aware of your emotions and manage them more effectively.
2. Try journaling
   Writing about your feelings in a journal can be a helpful way to process your emotions and thoughts without requiring others to do it for you.
3. Ask permission
   Before you start sharing your emotions with someone, ask them if they are emotionally available to listen first. It's important to be respectful of other people's boundaries and not force them to listen to you if they say they don’t have space for it in that moment.

If you need further support, your GP can be a good place to start who can assist with a referral to a psychologist.

By taking the steps to manage emotional dumping, you can have healthier and more meaningful relationships.